6 Things Moms Would Change if They Ran the World (and Why It Would Be Better for Everyone)
Imagine a society designed by mothers, where empathy, compassion, and the collective take precedence
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I went viral on Instagram last year after posting about how the 9-5 corporate work week was not built by or for moms.
This is not a revolutionary thought, but it really struck a chord.
The vast majority of the comments are from other working moms saying, “Hell, yeah!” and “F*ck the capitalist system!”
The standard 40-hour work week, which requires parents to pick up children from school during work hours, is a product of the Industrial Revolution and the labor movement, led by people like Henry Ford.
It is predicated on gendered division of labor, in which men are seen as the primary breadwinners and women are in caregiving roles. When the 40-hour work week was established it primarily benefitted men working in formal, industrial jobs, while women continued to do unregulated, unpaid, or low-wage work.
Women’s labor in the home was and is required to keep society going and maintain the workforce. And, as women entered the corporate workforce, too, we never left behind our other responsibilities. Now, women disproportionately work the “second shift” of unpaid domestic labor. The 40-hour work week does not account for this burden (not to mention the gender wage gap).
That said, the reaction to my viral reel makes me think about what our society would look like if it was designed by moms.
Let’s indulge ourselves for a moment. Shall we?
Six things we’d have if our society was designed by mothers
1. Matriarchal Society
Matriarchies are rare, now, but anthropologists have found examples of cultures in which women, mothers, and female elders hold power. Rather than a hierarchy, it’s more like a circle that emphasizes cooperation and caregiving for the whole community, with:
Council-based decision-making
Economic autonomy for women
Children and elders as priorities
Example: The Mosou people of China
2. Community-Centered Economies
A community-centered economy focuses on meeting the needs of people rather than driving profits for corporations. There would be more mutual aid, shared resources, and democratic decision-making. Instead of time scarcity and maximizing labor, there’d be a focus on work-life balance, and we’d value the low-wage care work jobs more.
Also: Cooperative living and childcare!
Example: Mondragon in the Basque region of Spain
3. Empathy-Driven Policies
What if — and I know this sounds crazy — our policies were focused on addressing the needs of all members of our society, especially the most marginalized and vulnerable? Empathy-driven policies are designed with compassion and equality in mind. One of the hallmarks of EDP is consideration for the lived experience of the individuals, rather than punishment or competition:
Universal healthcare
Guaranteed basic income
Affordable housing
Living wage legislation
Trauma-informed care
Humanitarian aid
4. Redefinition of Success and Wealth
In a matriarchal, community-centered society, we’d focus on the wellbeing of community members more than the accumulation of wealth. We might even measure success based on collective happiness rather than $$$.
I think this means that signs of success might look like quality time and fulfilling relationships rather than material goods.
5. Bodily Autonomy and Respect
In a society designed by mothers we’d have far more respect for personal choices and bodily autonomy, including comprehensive reproductive healthcare. There wouldn’t be a stigma around contraception or infertility.
We’d also celebrate diverse body types and live outside the narrow beauty standard, and this would be reflected in our art, culture, and media. We’d see real, authentic, unfiltered, bodies and wouldn’t be pressured to halt the natural process of aging.
Imagine a culture in which our narratives about menstruation, pregnancy, menopause, aging, and postpartum weren’t silenced, and we guided each other through these life transitions.
6. Decolonized Cultural Narratives
Colonization is central to the capitalist patriarchy we live in. So, I like to imagine that in a world designed by mothers, we’d honor ancestry and diverse cultural narratives. Instead of erasing our histories and replacing them with white European, Christian values, we’d emphasize storytelling and knowledge from groups that have been historically marginalized in our society.
Can you imagine what this would do to break cycles of generational trauma??
What if women and mothers were in the drivers’ seat in media and pop culture? What if nothing ever failed the Bechdel test? Our folklore and our mythology would be so different.
I recently fantasized with my mom friends about what it would be like to live in a commune where we got to coparent our children.
It would forever change our work-life balance, care duties, and domestic labor. Especially, I think, the emotional labor piece.
In lieu of a commune, I like to indulge in daydreams about living in a matriarchy. Join me?
See more by
Read more about the mental load in Holding your sh*t together when you can’t get a break by Allison Hiltz at her stack, Delightfully Difficult.
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