Confession: what I find most troubling about internalized misogyny is that *I don’t even realize I’m judging women to a higher standard than men* even as I’m doing it.
I’ve come so far from the way I was raised, and grown beyond the culture I live in. And I’m proud of that, because it’s taken deliberate focus, and curiosity, and a high tolerance of discomfort. But this still gnaws at me.
Me, too, friend! I hear you. I think the most important (and maybe only?) thing we can do is to notice it. At least … that’s what I’ve learned in years of therapy 😅 noticing is the first step to change
It can be really uncomfortable to start acknowledging the ways that we've internalized misogyny, especially for those of us who see ourselves as pushing back.
I recently wrote about how the Moms of TikTok, of all people, made me realize that how I choose to silence myself when it comes to writing about certain things isn't really for the reasons I told myself, but because I'd internalized some of that messaging, too.
But once we know it, we can't un-know it, and there's a lot of freedom that comes with that, but it also can mean recognizing where we've been too kind or unkind, and that can be a tough pill to swallow.
Thanks for laying out all of the ways this can happen!
This is such an uncomfortable topic for me to even find mention of publicly, just because it is imo always insider-only and men never fail to seize on it and attempt to weild it against women and feminism like a magic uno reverse card.
I wonder what you think about the last section on why it’s important to recognize internalized misogyny? There’s great power in realizing that our thoughts are a reflection of internalized misogyny and not reality
Confession: what I find most troubling about internalized misogyny is that *I don’t even realize I’m judging women to a higher standard than men* even as I’m doing it.
I’ve come so far from the way I was raised, and grown beyond the culture I live in. And I’m proud of that, because it’s taken deliberate focus, and curiosity, and a high tolerance of discomfort. But this still gnaws at me.
Me, too, friend! I hear you. I think the most important (and maybe only?) thing we can do is to notice it. At least … that’s what I’ve learned in years of therapy 😅 noticing is the first step to change
It can be really uncomfortable to start acknowledging the ways that we've internalized misogyny, especially for those of us who see ourselves as pushing back.
I recently wrote about how the Moms of TikTok, of all people, made me realize that how I choose to silence myself when it comes to writing about certain things isn't really for the reasons I told myself, but because I'd internalized some of that messaging, too.
But once we know it, we can't un-know it, and there's a lot of freedom that comes with that, but it also can mean recognizing where we've been too kind or unkind, and that can be a tough pill to swallow.
Thanks for laying out all of the ways this can happen!
This is such an uncomfortable topic for me to even find mention of publicly, just because it is imo always insider-only and men never fail to seize on it and attempt to weild it against women and feminism like a magic uno reverse card.
I wonder what you think about the last section on why it’s important to recognize internalized misogyny? There’s great power in realizing that our thoughts are a reflection of internalized misogyny and not reality