If you have new or unexplainable experiences, Google Menopause + .... fill in the blank. It's likely an anecdotal symptom. Eg. Smelling Smoke. Yep, you think something in your house is on fire at 3am, 3 X per week 🙄
Also, if you experiences Adrenaline Surges try tblspn ground flaxseeds in your cereal (or whatever) daily (but please make sure flax is okay for yourself first) and up your water intake to avoid loose stools.... sorry, but loose stools are the last thing you want on top of all the other crap ... oh no... my comment has turned gross... sorry xxx
So important to share all this, I’ve been thinking about penning a manual for my kids so they at least have a partial clue when they get to their 40’s. They’re so teens now, so definitely couldn’t care less, but I sure wish my mom told me anything about this stuff. I asked when she was close to death and in hospice and she told me only that she didn’t remember. 😢
Great piece! We need to normalise the hell out of this. The silence starts too early. I blew my top a couple of years ago looking for help for my 14-year-old daughter who had horrendous periods. The practice told me to fill in a form. The paediatric (under 16) drop-down menu had about 30 categories to pick from - elbow problem, skin problem, even testicular problem but *nothing* on the female reproductive system. I know far more girls with unmanageably heavy bleeding than I know with ‘elbow problems’. What a joke. At my end of the continuum, I wrote about the menopause silence a few months ago, here https://open.substack.com/pub/annamaija487/p/lets-not-talk-about-the-menopause?r=33ghj7&utm_medium=ios
Yes to all this and sorry to read about your suffering. I would add that being in my sixties, there is even less talk about women’s health. My friends in our sixties envy menopausal women as it feels to us as if they are receiving all the attention whereas we get nada. Most doctors don’t have a clue how to treat vaginal atrophy, for example, which impacts 50% of all women over 50.
Medical misogyny and gaslighting are rife amongst healthcare professionals treating my age group.
What I know is that we need to advocate for our own health and wellness. Do the research on whatever condition you may be experiencing and discover the options.
This is amazing and so true. I relate to lots of this, having had a baby 8 weeks early and two bouts of post natal depression - people are like why are you sad? You have a baby!
Sex is different after menopause. It can be great with the right partner, but it has been very vulnerable for me to talk about it, and the pain and dryness is very real.
Ahh layered shame, as if there wasn’t enough going on during this time of our life 😞 and probably the one I struggle with the most. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Oh my LORD mastitis is THE WORST. I was also almost septic with it 10 months pp. The sickest I had ever been in my life and I had no idea it was even a thing or what symptoms to watch for!
Re: #5, you could look for a provider who's familiar with treating trans women, who have very similar endocrinological needs to those of cis women in your situation.
I just realize that, even though my children are grown because I have CPTSD sometimes my PPA gets triggered along with that.
I will be trying to fall asleep at night and suddenly an image of something horrible happened to one of my children will pop into my head.
I have felt crazy and powerless and confused as to why this has started happening. But it makes sense because my family was re-traumatized three times over the last couple of months.
PPA is a whole different beast. No, I am not sad. I am not depressed. I am freaking out about my MIL reading a book while holding the baby because she’s focused on the book, not watching to make sure he’s still breathing. Baby woke up crying after sleeping only 10 minutes? Of course he needs to sleep more, and so do I, but at least I can relax for a minute because if he’s crying it means he’s alive. But those questions aren’t on the survey.
They aren’t on the survey, and they feel very legitimate and real in the moment! It seems to take time to get perspective on just how wild and intense PPA is, right?
I’ve got two episodes on the podcast coming up on postpartum mood disorders because there is so much there to unpack!
I am appalled at how women's hormones are treated by the medical community. Recently went through treatment for hormone positive breast cancer for the second time. In addition to a mastectomy I was given estrogen blockers. For five years the changes in my body were ignored until I was left with a few autoimmune disorders. After labs confirmed my status my oncologist just said the treatment threw my body into fight mode, but my scans are clear. I get it, they cleared out the cancer. But ignored the impact of the estrogen blockers on the rest of my body and declined to offer assistance with this side effect.
If you have new or unexplainable experiences, Google Menopause + .... fill in the blank. It's likely an anecdotal symptom. Eg. Smelling Smoke. Yep, you think something in your house is on fire at 3am, 3 X per week 🙄
Also, if you experiences Adrenaline Surges try tblspn ground flaxseeds in your cereal (or whatever) daily (but please make sure flax is okay for yourself first) and up your water intake to avoid loose stools.... sorry, but loose stools are the last thing you want on top of all the other crap ... oh no... my comment has turned gross... sorry xxx
So important to share all this, I’ve been thinking about penning a manual for my kids so they at least have a partial clue when they get to their 40’s. They’re so teens now, so definitely couldn’t care less, but I sure wish my mom told me anything about this stuff. I asked when she was close to death and in hospice and she told me only that she didn’t remember. 😢
Great piece! We need to normalise the hell out of this. The silence starts too early. I blew my top a couple of years ago looking for help for my 14-year-old daughter who had horrendous periods. The practice told me to fill in a form. The paediatric (under 16) drop-down menu had about 30 categories to pick from - elbow problem, skin problem, even testicular problem but *nothing* on the female reproductive system. I know far more girls with unmanageably heavy bleeding than I know with ‘elbow problems’. What a joke. At my end of the continuum, I wrote about the menopause silence a few months ago, here https://open.substack.com/pub/annamaija487/p/lets-not-talk-about-the-menopause?r=33ghj7&utm_medium=ios
Yes to all this and sorry to read about your suffering. I would add that being in my sixties, there is even less talk about women’s health. My friends in our sixties envy menopausal women as it feels to us as if they are receiving all the attention whereas we get nada. Most doctors don’t have a clue how to treat vaginal atrophy, for example, which impacts 50% of all women over 50.
Medical misogyny and gaslighting are rife amongst healthcare professionals treating my age group.
What I know is that we need to advocate for our own health and wellness. Do the research on whatever condition you may be experiencing and discover the options.
I hear you, Suzanne 🖤
I'll never forget the day that my husband had to take me to the ER because "something " was coming out of my vagina. No, I wasn't pregnant.
The female doctor said my uterus had prolapsed. Then she asked me hadn't I ever had that happen before? (Like this is an everyday occurance)
Well, I think I would have noticed something like my insides falling out of my hoohoo!
That’s so traumatic!
This is amazing and so true. I relate to lots of this, having had a baby 8 weeks early and two bouts of post natal depression - people are like why are you sad? You have a baby!
And moms aren’t supposed to be sad! That’s ungrateful!
Sex is different after menopause. It can be great with the right partner, but it has been very vulnerable for me to talk about it, and the pain and dryness is very real.
SO vulnerable! There are many layers of shame there for women, I think, in that it means we have to admit we aged, too
Ahh layered shame, as if there wasn’t enough going on during this time of our life 😞 and probably the one I struggle with the most. Thank you for sharing ❤️
It is insidious and heavy and dark 😢 I hear you!
Oh my LORD mastitis is THE WORST. I was also almost septic with it 10 months pp. The sickest I had ever been in my life and I had no idea it was even a thing or what symptoms to watch for!
It's so bad (and so sneaky), right? I even had a lactation consultant in the hospital for weeks and I didn't know what to look for.
Re: #5, you could look for a provider who's familiar with treating trans women, who have very similar endocrinological needs to those of cis women in your situation.
Thank you! Yes; a good friend of mine is a plastic surgeon who specializes in gender affirming care, and she has been very helpful
This comment sums up women’s experience and the utter lack of support in one fell swoop.
How so? 🖤
It sure does. Wow.
Wow, this is so much information!! I don't have kids but I am in perimenopause and I feel those symptoms. Life is overwhelming sometimes.
100% and I went through PPA. Commenting to come back later
Thank you, Julie!
Wow.
I just realize that, even though my children are grown because I have CPTSD sometimes my PPA gets triggered along with that.
I will be trying to fall asleep at night and suddenly an image of something horrible happened to one of my children will pop into my head.
I have felt crazy and powerless and confused as to why this has started happening. But it makes sense because my family was re-traumatized three times over the last couple of months.
I’m not insane!
I’m so sorry this is happening to you again 😞
The awareness makes it a little easier to get through to be honest. Gives me some sense of agency.
PPA is a whole different beast. No, I am not sad. I am not depressed. I am freaking out about my MIL reading a book while holding the baby because she’s focused on the book, not watching to make sure he’s still breathing. Baby woke up crying after sleeping only 10 minutes? Of course he needs to sleep more, and so do I, but at least I can relax for a minute because if he’s crying it means he’s alive. But those questions aren’t on the survey.
They aren’t on the survey, and they feel very legitimate and real in the moment! It seems to take time to get perspective on just how wild and intense PPA is, right?
I’ve got two episodes on the podcast coming up on postpartum mood disorders because there is so much there to unpack!
Yes, I to did not know but I have told my daughters everything.
Thank you for breaking the cycle of silence 🖤🖤
Truly. This is an area with dire need for improvement. Just published a piece this week on the need for feminism to get on board too—https://open.substack.com/pub/onetiredmother/p/re-thinking-reproductive-justice?r=22tzy&utm_medium=ios
I am appalled at how women's hormones are treated by the medical community. Recently went through treatment for hormone positive breast cancer for the second time. In addition to a mastectomy I was given estrogen blockers. For five years the changes in my body were ignored until I was left with a few autoimmune disorders. After labs confirmed my status my oncologist just said the treatment threw my body into fight mode, but my scans are clear. I get it, they cleared out the cancer. But ignored the impact of the estrogen blockers on the rest of my body and declined to offer assistance with this side effect.