I had this moment a few years ago where it dawned on me that everyone else wants to go through life as a white man. The framework of our society has always treated the white male as an individual (at least as much as possible). He is least likely to be assigned some group identity and most likely to be attributed individual characteristics.
Everyone else is more likely to be assigned group characteristics and everyone else is fighting for the right to have, express, and pursue individual characteristics and preferences.
I got philosophical about this and thought, no one else is as free as white men. And this is why white men have such a difficult time imagining or empathizing with the difficulties of those most likely assigned to groups. For the white male, his interests are something he can pursue his entire life with or without children. But for the female, she cannot. Her interests must often be shelved or integrated into domestic life as you notice here.
I could go on and on but I remember that really struck me and I’ve never forgotten it.
I can’t say that it’s ever gone over well when I’ve tried to say something like, “Everyone else wants to be treated like a white male.” What I mean is everyone else just wants the space to be an individual, to not be seen as only having group characteristics. And white men are most likely to have that space. So it was very nice to read this, thank you!
I have been trying to solo for 2 years, for the same reason: the weight of caregiving. During that time allllll the guys soloed, took check rides, and some even completed IFR training. Meanwhile, I can’t get a med card because I was prescribed antidepressants as a young mom, and even with the med card my time in the cockpit was always complicated with fatigue and stress, my mind struggling to stay focused in the plane instead of with the avalanche of caregiving tasks. I just want to have some time in my life to be a person instead of a to-do list.
I had this moment a few years ago where it dawned on me that everyone else wants to go through life as a white man. The framework of our society has always treated the white male as an individual (at least as much as possible). He is least likely to be assigned some group identity and most likely to be attributed individual characteristics.
Everyone else is more likely to be assigned group characteristics and everyone else is fighting for the right to have, express, and pursue individual characteristics and preferences.
I got philosophical about this and thought, no one else is as free as white men. And this is why white men have such a difficult time imagining or empathizing with the difficulties of those most likely assigned to groups. For the white male, his interests are something he can pursue his entire life with or without children. But for the female, she cannot. Her interests must often be shelved or integrated into domestic life as you notice here.
I could go on and on but I remember that really struck me and I’ve never forgotten it.
I can’t say that it’s ever gone over well when I’ve tried to say something like, “Everyone else wants to be treated like a white male.” What I mean is everyone else just wants the space to be an individual, to not be seen as only having group characteristics. And white men are most likely to have that space. So it was very nice to read this, thank you!
Not a profound comment, but I love how the photos show your grandmother’s love of cats!!
It is a profound comment to me because it keeps her memory alive 🥰 she was a lifelong animal lover
I have been trying to solo for 2 years, for the same reason: the weight of caregiving. During that time allllll the guys soloed, took check rides, and some even completed IFR training. Meanwhile, I can’t get a med card because I was prescribed antidepressants as a young mom, and even with the med card my time in the cockpit was always complicated with fatigue and stress, my mind struggling to stay focused in the plane instead of with the avalanche of caregiving tasks. I just want to have some time in my life to be a person instead of a to-do list.
Wow, Karen, thank you! This was so incredibly validating. I really appreciate you sharing with me. I hope you get some autonomy ❤️🩹. I see you!