S1E11 Narcissistic Abuse x Telling Your Story with Sarene Leeds

Hi, again — It’s Micah with Modern Hysteria, your newsletter and podcast about the taboos of women’s health, and this week we’re getting to WORK! — we’re talking about narcissistic abuse in the workplace.

In this episode, Sarene Leeds takes us back to her tenure at Rolling Stone and experiences with:

• ❤️‍🩹 narcissistic abuse, where a person — usually someone with narcissistic traits — manipulates, controls, and harms others

• 🕹️ coercive control, a pattern of behavior used to dominate and manipulate someone

• 😶‍🌫️ gaslighting, when someone makes you doubt your own memory, perception, or sanity

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The Taboo

Narcissistic abuse can be subtle and hard to recognize, and it doesn’t leave. physical, visible scars, so, often, survivors feel confused, anxious, or like they have to “walk on eggshells."

There wasn’t much of a public discussion about emotional abuse or coercive control in the workplace when Sarene was at Rolling Stone, especially because it was before the rise of the #MeToo movement in 2017, which exposed workplace sexual assault and harassment. #MeToo led to more awareness of toxic work environments and made it easier for survivors to see each other.

Narcissistic abuse at work is still very much an issue shaded with doubt, skepticism, and bureaucracy.

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Links + Resources

• 🎧 “Emotional Abuse Is Real” podcast

• 📰 Exclusive: Women staffers of Jann Wenner’s Rolling Stone get their turn to speak

• 🎧 Breaking Down the Nuances of Narcissistic Abuse with Sarah Jacobs, Esq., and Jamie Berger, Esq. (from Emotional Abuse Is Real)

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The Guest

Sarene Leeds is a professional writer and podcaster with a master’s degree in professional writing from NYU. Back in 2014, she resigned from her dream job at Rolling Stone because she was being emotionally abused daily by her narcissistic boss. Nearly a decade later, she launched “Emotional Abuse Is Real,” a podcast dedicated to sharing the stories of her fellow emotional and narcissistic abuse survivors.

Sarene is now a contributing writer to women’s health and fertility website Rescripted.

• 📍 Location: NY, USA

• 📱 @sareneleedswrites on Instagram

• ✍🏻 The Critical Communicator

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Time Stamps

• 03:47: Defining narcissistic abuse

• 06:25: Gaslighting & coercive control in the workplace

• 14:05: Why narcissistic abuse is hard to prove

• 21:37: Aside: What are fireable offenses?

• 31:59: Why telling your story is powerful

• 46:50: Advice for survivors

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Key Takeaways

1. Narcissistic abuse thrives in the “gray area” of plausible deniability, which makes it hard to recognize and prove.

2. Coercive control and gaslighting are ways narcissistic abusers erode someone’s confidence and reality (in the workplace or in other relationships).

3. Being believed is often THE biggest hurdle for survivors, followed by the lack of institutional support.

4. Journaling and storytelling can be healing ways to process your experiences with narcissistic abuse and put it in a narrative.

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Thanks for checking out this episode of Modern Hysteria.

Did it resonate? Have your own experiences with narcissistic abuse?

Tell me in the comments; I read every single one!

I’m back next week with an episode on pelvic floor dysfunction and incontinence with mom and semi-pro runner Patricia Siegel (S1E12).

Talk soon,

Micah

P.S. Are we connected on Instagram, yet?